I don't mind working everyday IF the hours were more set. ...My hours are not set. Lately my night shifts have been killed because I've been relying on caffeine to keep me awake. 1/2 the time I'm zoning out and listening to my heart beat 2000 beats/minute. The other 1/2 of the time I completing hurling myself out the window.

Schedule:

today 4pm-1am
mon 7pm-2am
wed 2am-9am
thur 5am-12pm
fri 10pm-5am
sun 8pm-12am

If you're thinking "Hmmm, that's not that bad." Try having these weird ass hours for 3 weeks.

It was sooooo freakin' hot yesterday. I literally just sat at home and melted into a pile of goop.

Maybe it's the caffeine, or just me being weird, but I know what I want my GM character to be. I'm going to role-play as a Knight GM because that's is what the kids need. On my Saturday shift, there were some kids bullying another kid just because he had the same items as their leader. I figure if I can teach them about chivalry maybe that won't happen again. When I was younger, I used to read books about King Arthur and the Round Table all the time and it instilled in me this stupid sense of loyalty and fair play. Hopefully it will work... but in the end it's just a game...

UGH. My boss, I want to like you, but you're making it really hard not to. More on this later, I has me some workin' to do.

Requested the 5am - 2pm shift for my job so that I can fool around at night. I will probably regret this later when I am mugged and beat up because no one else is inside the building during 5am - 9am. My second choice is 8pm - 5am. -_-

My mother got invited to go to Disneyland next week for free because her friend's husband does something. Anyways, I ask if I don't have work, if I can go. (I'm guessing I'm only working like 1-2 days since I'm still a trainee.) She asks if I'd really want to hang out with two old ladies in an amusement park. My response? "But you'll feed me right?" Cue the eye roll from my mother and an "I'll ask her." YEAH BABY!!! One step closer to a junk food filled me. >:D

So... I got the job. I should be happy and jumping for joy and crap, but I feel the same as I always feel. I want to think that it is because reality has not hit me yet, is that really the case though? I have never been one to express my emotions well, except for the negative ones such as anger and hate... I should be dancing around and blasting my music, but I am not... I do not have to be a stupid bank teller or some other job I dislike. It is a job in an industry I love and hopefully, I will be able to move up at a decent pace. ...And yet, I feel nothing. Sigh

So... I have a negative personality. Whenever I have an interview, at first I think I did okay, but a few minutes later, after going over everything I did in my head, I realized that I probably will not get the job because I bombed the interview. (I am horrendously bad at making things sound positive and fluffy because I have a very "tell it like it is" attitude. I should lie, I know. I am the type of person who cannot feels like using "technical" terms and embellishing your language is just a way of hiding shiz. Gist: I say "you are a fat arse" instead of "you're slightly overweight.") Yes, I should think positively, but it is not my style.

The problem is, I really want this job because I guess I see it as my last hope in obtaining a job that I will really enjoy having. Since my "want meter" for this job is so high, I am brooding about this way more than I should. If I do not get this job, I will be applying to boring old regular jobs that involve sitting at a desk, crunching numbers for a company I do not really give a flying cheese steak about. I do not care about banking and I do not care about investment companies, but it is something "solid and sturdy." I always felt like my parents were pushing me toward that mundane job which I would grow to hate and would eventually lead me to blow up the building in a fit of rage. ...Or in a more realistic situation, lead me to have an early midlife crisis.

In some ways the recession came at the right time, at least for me. If I had been a few years older, I would probably be the average worker. It allowed me to find this job and figure out that it might be the path I am willing to pursue. On the other hand, it makes me feel a little worthless because other people have already gotten a job while I am still bumming about...

So... here is the thing. If I do not get the job, I have to either give up working for the ____ industry and work at a boring financial type company or pursue the same job at different companies. The problem is most of the _____ industry buildings are not located in a good commutable distance, so that means I would have to move and the job pays min. wage...

Sigh....

PS: My lips are chap but I hate the feeling of stuff on my lips aka I hate chapstick. This is gonna hurt me isn't it? ;-;